I Wanna Spoon All Winter Long.

Let’s break down some facts:

1) I live in Knoxville.

2) Knoxville has 4 distinct seasons.

3) Our current season is winter.

4) Winter has 2 distinct parts:

• Glorious Pre-Chritmas
• The Horrible Remainder

At the date of this posting, we are not even halfway through The Horrible Remainder. This part of winter is disgusting and awful and never fails to nag at my poor, tired soul year after year. And yes, I will concede that Glorious Pre-Christmas can be stressful and difficult, especially for those with low-paying jobs and/or emotionally demanding families. But it’s also exciting and pretty and cozy and it builds a rare and beautiful anticipation. And then after Christmas, it’s just crash and burn, baby. Crash. And. Burn.

So what can one do? It’s too cold, too ugly, too dark too early, and fucking WAY too long until springtime. Few things have the power to sustain a human soul through the bleak mid-winter. However, I feel I may have found just the very thing. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you my new hobby:

Eating Chocolate Pudding Cups And Making 1970′s News Anchor Hairstyles on Your Spoon

Try it out. In the words of Kat Williams, “See if that don’t improve the quality of yo’ damn life. “It’s an art form to be sure, but don’t be intimidated. And if you come up with anything good, send them my way and I’ll post the shit out of ‘em! Also, feel free to Photoshop or MSPaint some sweet 1970′s News Anchor Mustaches all over these and they too shall be posted. I feel like winter’s almost over already.